God of Thievery
by The Blind Ficus
Summary: In the blessed Kingdom of Heaven, believers of the Biblical Lord and his children live solely. At least it was, until a man with hair whiter than the fresh snow, and stronger than God himself? Surely that must be wrong, right? Adopted and loosely based of God of Theft


I do not own Naruto and if I did Itachi, and Mikoto wouldn't have died

"Naruto" -normal speech

'Stupid idiots' - normal thoughts

 **"Oi gaki listen to me" -Powerful/Dark being speech**

 **'stupid ningen'-Powerful/Dark being Thoughts**

*thunder* -action

 _Kage bunshin no jutsu -Techniques_

 _"Yo baka" Beings translation/speech_

 ** _"Lack of reviews is the greatest killer of fan fic writers out there. We at the institute wish to let the public know of how they can pitch in to save our dying writers."- Vision Dominican_**

A/N: Note This. Is. Fiction. Here I can decide how each character acts or behaves.

Helped by: The god of creation and destruction.

Adopted from Jay Leonardo

*Story start*

* * *

*Heaven: Sixth Level Prayer Room*

* * *

Heaven, Kingdom of all believers of the Abrahamic religions. Created by the Father,YHWH/יהוה,Allah,Elohim, IAM himself. Home of Eden, and all of his believers. Including God's children: The Divine Angels, and the former of the Fallen Angels or the Followers of Lucifer, Devils.

Heaven was commonly referred to as the most Perfect realm on Earth. Yet to one of the blessed Archangels, a realm that has grown monotonous with near centuries of little to no change without the Father.

"Oh Father, I hope that wherever you rest that you can hear me. Your kingdom is perfect, yet I long for something new to grace our Kingdom." the pure blond haired lady asked while she knelt on the ground with her hands in a prayer in front of high Celtic Cross.

"Please hear me, Father, I simply wish for something to change in Heaven. Love, your daughter Gabriel." the angelically dressed woman(Cover) finished as she rose to her feet and exited the room with a golden halo overhead.

* * *

*Sixth Level Command centre: Five minutes later*

"Lord Micheal! We have an emergency on the Seventh Level!" a white dressed man with a pair of snow white wings and Halo yelled as he approached a blond man seated on an ivory throne with a halo and golden shoulder armour.

"What is it Javan? The Seventh Level is restricted to all except for the research crew and Archangels." the dull blond haired man exclaimed as Javan handed him a small device.

"Our monitors showed a man appeared in the Sacred Gear section several minutes ago, a human man." the angel explained as the device showed a snowy white hair smashing and slicing through the pillars supporting each of the divine objects and scorching the room with white fire. The only thing discernible on him was a white robe bearing nine tomoe and his left arm wrapped in a torn cloak.

"Curses. Javan, I want you to evacuate Levels Six to Four and send word for every Archangel to head to level Seven and deal with this threat. This man must be a follower of Lucifer and used some ancient magic to bypass the Barriers of our Father. Such an act of blatant betrayal of our treaty will not be tolerated. This _thing_ is out to destroy God's last gift to Humans. Deal with extreme prejudice." Micheal ordered as he rose to a stand and extended his six sets of Heavenly wings.

"YES, SIR!" Javan yelled as he flew off to rally the angels. While Micheal summoned a 75cm golden pommeled sword with a leather bound handle and upward facing wings as guards and 'Michael Angelus autem benedicite Deum' engraved on its side.

"Beware the Angel Micheal, heretic."

* * *

*Seventh Level: Outside Sacred Gear's Containment*

"Raphael, why are we all here? What's happening in there?" the blonde female angel asked her brunet haired brother as she looked at the giant door with each of her siblings holding sabres, chains, and spears in hand. Micheal, Raphael, Uriel, Selaphiel, Metatron, and Barachiel.

"Gabriel. Several minutes ago, a mysterious figure with white hair, not unlike our fallen brother, appeared in here and began to destroy our Fathers gift. When we open the door, I want you to cast a containment spell on the heretic. Everyone... move in!" the oldest of Gods children yelled as they stormed into the room with the white-haired man spreading fire across the room.

Raphael and Selaphiel pinned the man's arms with golden chains while Metatron and Barachiel drove spears through his calves to pin him to the ground, and Micheal and Uriel drove their swords through his hands.

"Why do you continue to destroy our Fathers gift?" Gabriel demanded as she summoned a collar and chained him to the ground.

 _" **Anata wa nani ni tsuite hanashite imasu ka**_? _" the snowy-haired man stated as he twisted his hands and shattered the two swords._

"What was that? I don't understand you?" the female archangel questioned him as she knelt in front of the man trying to pry the collar off, which Micheal and Barachiel holding his arms.

"It doesn't matter if you can understand him. Just finish him off!" Micheal ordered his sister, who decided to gather magic into her hand and pressed it against his forehead. Gabriel felt a sharp pull, followed by darkness.

* * *

*Unknown*

"Damn it! Kurama, give me everything you can!"

 **"I am, so just shut up and let me focus!"**

Gabriel opened her eyes to see a densely canopied forest with A massive fox bearing nine tails and the snowy-haired in only a pair of dark orange shorts. The man had crisscrossing scars and a massive fist shaped divot in his chest on his left along with his arm up to his shoulder which was a moon-white than the rest of his body was tanned shade.

"H-hey! What are you doing in Heaven? Why are you destroying my Fathers gift?" Gabriel confidently asked as the duo turned towards her. The white-haired one with confusion, and fox with mirth.  
"YOU! what the hell is going on? Where are we and why did you guys attack me?" the young man questioned her as he slowly approached her with his crimson, vertically split eyes focusing on every minute detail of her self.

"There are several things wrong with your statements. _We_ don't know what a 'Heaven' is or how we got here, and your Fathers _gifts_ is just a knock-off of Orochimaru's curse seal with a soul compounding seal mixed into it.

"What are you saying? Who's Orochimaru and how you speak ill of my Fathers Sacred Gear?! He made them to protect humans and perform miracles." the angel fumed as she prodded his bare chest with her finger. Causing the two to burst out laughing.

" _Help_? While those trinkets might be useful in the short-run, but it burns through chakra faster than its produced and shortens their lives. Ever see those 'blessed' with them tend to croak faster than average?" the white-haired man listed off as he deconstructed the age-old system imposed by her father in seconds.

"That's because Devils like you hunt them down and slay them!" Gabriel yelled at them, flaring out all twelve wings.

 **"Now that's a new one. I've been called Horrible, Vile, Monstrous, a Demon, but never a devil. Hey Gaki?" the likely named Kurama chuckled along with his partner.**

"Yeah! Now listen, whoever you are, Naruto Uzumaki isn't a Devil! I'm an Uzumaki, and proud of it!" Naruto smirked as a crimson spiral appeared on his right shoulder.

"Yeah right, and I am not an angel. Now, what's your purpose here?" Gabriel asked, this time with less potent anger, and subtlely staring at his off coloured left limb.

"Dunno. I just woke up in 'Heaven', then got _stabbed and impaled_ by your 'angel' friends. So excuse me if my intentions here aren't clear, 'cause I'm a bit pissed off at those assholes." Naruto explained as snow white fire engulfed his left arm.

"Watch your language; Heaven is sacred ground! And those 'A-Holes' as you called them, who are my brothers, were stabbing you for destroying Sacred and Religious items." The angel pointed out while retracting her wings down to a single pair.

"'Sacred items' which cause harm to the people who use it." the white-haired man added which irritated her.

"For whatever reason you did, you committed a crime in Heaven. You will be imprisoned at best and executed at worst. But if you come peacefully, I might be able to have you merely detained for a while." Gabriel attempted to play negotiator with her deal.

 **"Take the deal gaki. We're stuck in an unknown region, with people speaking a language I can barely understand. Also, the chakra is in the air, but it feels like it's more saturated in blood or death. Plus, we could easily take anyone sans Kaguya-level people." the massive fox advised as his tails lazily swayed behind him while resting his muzzle on his front paws.**

"Fine, I'll allow you to detain me long enough for us to figure out what's happening. I ask, you answer. You ask, I answer. My terms of surrender are non-negotiable." Naruto explained as he crossed his arms.

"I will agree, as long as you cease destruction of the Sacred Gears. This term is Non-negotiable as well." the blond angel stated as the duo begrudgingly nodded.

"Fine. Now get ready to tell your jerk brothers to back off. I'll electrocute them if their still stabbing me in ten seconds." the white-haired warrior advised while approaching her and send her flying with a flick to the head.

While flying back, the archangel began to black out with the man's words fading away.

"TEN, NINE... EI-"

* * *

*Seventh Level: Outside Sacred Gear's Containment*

"GHT, SEVEN!" Gabriel shot away from the mysterious warrior while electricity built up around him.

"BROTHERS! BACK AWAY NOW!" the only female angel present yelled while the man continued counting down. "SIX, FIVE!"

"What do you mean Gabriel? Hurry and finish him!" Micheal ordered his sister as they struggled against the charging but warrior. "FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE!"

"Let go of him now, he's electri-" the female angel was cut off by a surge of electricity strong enough to be classified as a smiting blow. All six of the angels were flung off in every direction, which left Gabriel the only one standing in front of him. The man rose to a stand while ripping the chains off and the spears out. The wounds quickly began steaming and sealing shut.

" _Yokatta_. Retsu go." Naruto declared as Gabriel summoned a golden collar, connected to a set of handcuffs and ran to her hands.

"G-Gabriel? W-where are you going with him?" the oldest angel asked as he tried and failed to flex his muscles but only succeeded in spasming on the ground.

"To containment. If he took you out in a single move, then he can easily kill you." the angel explained as she gestured to the five other angels struggling to a stand.

"T-that's not true, we could e-easily take him." Raphael boasted as he tried to summon a spear to prop himself up, but acted a conduit and was more harmful to him. Focusing the lingering electricity into himself.

"F-fine. Gabriel, I want you to give me the chain and help our brothers to their feet." Micheal commanded as he shakily walked towards her with his hand awaiting the chain.

 ** _"NO!_** Gaburieru nomi." the foreigner announced as each angel, sans Gabriel, felt a surge of power comparable to or surpassing Micheals. Possibly even close to their Fathers.  
"A-alright. Just hurry to level Four, then back here. If he's going to be in our custody, then several people will need to be tasked with his watch." the unofficially official Leader of Heaven explained as the five other archangels managed to rise to stand.

"Alright. Let's go there Naruto." the angel announced as a circular crest appeared beneath her, bordered by 'Tetragammation Gabriel Adonay Eloym'. With a flash, the Archangels were left alone with their bruised egos.

*Level Four: R&D/Containment*

In a flash of light, Gabriel appeared in a vast filled with scientific equipment, medical supplies, and a series of rooms with their entrances void of doors.

"Now you will be staying in this area indefinitely. Mostly this room." the angel informed him while pointing towards a room with a poorly scratched out name 'Azazel'. The room had a simple bed with a white tunic and shorts, an enclosed washroom, and a small bookshelf filled with unmarked books of different sizes.

 _'Thank you, Gabriel. Now, what happens next?' the man's voice seemingly echoed inside her head while the chains vanished as he entered the room and a translucent gold barrier was erected._

"How can I understand you now? How are you talking without speaking?" the angel asked curiously, with the harshness and edge of before with intrigue and innocence. The warrior sat on the bed, with his feet tucked beneath his rear and his mouth completely sealed.

 _'When you talked to me, you were inside of my personal Mindscape. Inside of there, our consciousness was linked. I was able to glean off the 'magic' *queue air quote* spells from I had decided to link my chakra with your 'divine energy', which allows me to bypass barriers and speak directly to your subconscious.' The battered man finished without moving his mouth._

'So you can hear me like this?' 'The Most Beautiful Woman in Heaven' mentally asked herself, to which the man nodded.

 _'I can, but as fun as our little chat has been... I believe your brothers would need your attention. But don't worry. On my honour, there will be a Naruto Uzumaki in this room whenever you return. While this barrier will also help that." Naruto promised as he poked the barrier, which sparked at the contact._

 _"_ Alright, I will have an angel to come down here as soon as possible. Try not to anger them too much." Gabriel warned him with an adorable scolding.

 _'I promise on my honour. That's not something I easily break.' Naruto admitted as he stood up pressed his hand against the barrier, which easily stopped his advance. Seeing the barrier containing him, the angel left him to his own devices._

 **"Alright kid, You can leave here now," Kurama advised as his partner opened up a small hole to fit his hands out.**

"Yes, but I promised I wouldn't leave. I never said _I_ wouldn't leave." Naruto explained as he focused chakra into his index's nail, then slashed his palm to draw a sizeable amount of his blood.

 **"True. So will it be a _Kage Bunshin_?" his partner questioned him as line of their golden chakra plunged into the liquid, and began to coalesce into seven identical versions of himself.**

"Close. _Chi Bunshin(blood clone)_ is more useful." Naruto told his partner before he replaced himself with a clone. Unlike the traditional replacement which used smoke to mask the change, his technique involved no smoke and worked at the speed of chakra.

"Clone 1, stay in the room and do what I'd do. Clone's 2-7, take one of these papers and try to fix the angel's 'Fathers' mistakes." Naruto(original) declared as he pulled out six papers from his coat, and equally distributing it to his copies.

"What should I do in here?" Naruto(C1) asked as the seven Naruto's outside the barrier were engulfed in their gold and black cloaks and a black orb circling them.

"Just read one of those books until Gabriel or someone gets here." Naruto(Original) commanded while each clone memorized their papers with the original one reading his. Asia Argento. Former residence, Vatican city Italy. Current residence, St. Agnes Takea Church Kuoh Japan. Sacred Gear, Twilight Healing.

"Sound off to travel," Naruto ordered as each one tucked the paper.

"Number Six. Japan, Toyko."

"Number Two. Britannia, Liverpool."

"Number Five. Russia, Saint Petersburg."

"Number Three. Japan, Kyoto."

"Number Seven. Japan, Osaka."

"Number Four. Britannia, London."

"Original. Japan, Kuoh."

With a flash, the copies gradually travelled to their destinations. The original stood still with his eyes closed until they gained a noticeable pigmentation.

"Got it. Lets see what _Japan_ has in store." the white-haired warrior declared as the Truth-Seeking Orb morphed into a black ceramic fox mask with red accents on his face. Shortly after it appeared, he vanished is a bolt of lightning.

* * *

*Kuoh, St. Agnes Takea Church Basement: 23:57*

"Finally! The Twilight Healing is within my grasp!" A dominatrix-dressed ravenette celebrated with a green light surrounding a pair of silver rings. Her triumph was halted by a foreign energy probing her mind.

 _"_ **So Raynare? Did the end justify your means? The** ** _blood of an innocent girl just to get one of your father's trinkets?" a deep voice questioned her as the raven-winged girl turned around to see a golden cloaked man wearing a black fox mask._**

"Who the hell are you? How'd ya pass through the barrier?" Raynare demanded as she slipped on the rings.

 ** _"ANSWER ME! WAS. IT. WORTH. IT? Did her death make your entire journey worth it?" the visibly white-haired man yelled as he grew gradually quieter. Similar to a father reprimanding his misbehaving daughter._**

"Y-YES!? With this, I can get revenge on all of those snooty ass fucks in heaven." Raynare screamed as she summoned a spear of purple lightning and stabbed it into his left chest, approximately at heart level.

 ** _"So you wouldn't take up my offer if I could, say change those black wings to the white you so long for." the man offhandedly commented as he grabbed the edge of the spear and forced it through the other end._**

"How the fuck do you know so much about me?" the black winged angel demanded before an ethereal golden hand erupted from his left shoulder to plunge into her forehead.

 ** _" 'Cause I'm in your head. My powers give me the power to see your past, your desire, your dreams. Every thought that passes through your mind is_** ** _within my vision. Now answer my question Fallen Angel." the man's statement echoed inside her head while the hole stitched itself together and the hand retracted from her forehead and into his shoulder._**

"Y-YEAH! If this girls death can bring me to my goal, then it's all worth it." the girl hesitated slightly before she slipped on the silver rings.

 ** _"Your goal huh? How about I make you an offer on those rings? I wanna fix 'im up." the man offered as he held up a glowing hand to her._**

"Offer? Yeah right... I wanna be a pure angel again, I wanna go back to Heaven, I want the same deal for Mittelt and Kalawarner, and I want you to go fuck off!" the black winged angel smirked as she activated the green glow around her hands.

 ** _"Now the first three I can do, but I can tell that the last one is an insult. So hand over the rings and we can get started." the disguised_** ** _man agreed as he held out his hand for the items._**

"Yeah right, over my..." the evil angel stopped her dismission of him to see the rings in his hand. Using what looked like runic magic to engrave new 'rules' into the rings.

 ** _"Impressive core functions but poor execution. But I made a deal so get ready." the hidden Naruto declared as he took the nun off her crucifix to set her on the ground. He placed the glowing_ orange _rings back into her chest with a black crescent moon and white sun on the rings entry point._**

"W-w-what? How did you do that?" the erotically dressed woman stammered before the man slammed his hands on the ground with black rune marks spreading across the ground. Before she could add to her confusion, an explosion rocked the Church.

 ** _"Shh-shh-shh. Focus and let me concentrate," he ordered as the marks began to glow red and crawl up her legs. As they crept up her body, and gradually changed her physical attire and dress. Her dominatrix suit morphed into a floor-length black skirt, and white_** ** _long sleeve shirt with a black cross running down the middle. Her black, now gold hair was tied up in a simple ponytail by an orange strip. Lastly, her once black wings shed their black feathers to reveal a coat of pure snow coloured feathers._**

"H-how? An angel falling to their sins is permanent." Raynare questioned him as she looked at her golden hair for the first time in a long time.

 ** _"I could explain it now, or I could get us out of here before someone else shows up." the_** ** _disguised Uzumaki advised as another explosion rocked the church._**

"Alright, but what about Mittelt and Kalawarner?" the former fallen angel asked as he grabbed her hand.  
 ** _"They'll meet us there. ATTENTION! EVERYBODY OUT!" Naruto commanded as the former matrix of runes began to burn away and the duo vanished. Just as a brunet dressed in a Kuoh uniform and a draconic gauntlet on hand, a short loli with white hair, and a blond 'pretty boy'._**

*Fourth Level of Heaven: R&D: Containment*

 ** _"Welcome to Heavens Fourth level Raynare." the white-haired man announced as he waved his hand in a celebratory manner, and two more bursts of light appeared with a pair of females inside. One was a pigtailed blonde girl in a gothic Lolita dress that cut off at her knees. while the second figure was a navy bluenette in a maroon coat and knee length skirt._**

 ** _The duo slowly woke up to see a terrifyingly familiar room with a blonde haired girl bearing a pair of extended white wings. White room, white walls, and a blonde with a pair of white wings which only meant one thing._**

"Kalawarner? How the heck did we get here? What going on? Why can't I say heck?" the Lolita asked as she summoned a _golden_ spear and aimed it at the angel.

"Mittelt? Since when is your spear golden?" the blue-haired lady questioned as she noticed her top was buttoned up to the top.

"Never mind that Kalawarner, we're stuck in Heaven with an angel and ... some guy in a cell?" the younger female trailed off as she noticed the white haired man in a room sliding on a white tunic.

 _"Hi, who you?"_ Naruto asked as Mittelt summoned her wings and poised herself to throw the spear through the barrier.

"M-Mittelt... y-your wings..." the bluenette stuttered as she pointed at her friends snow white wings. Feeling hesitant, Kalawarner released her wings to see her sing set of white wings.

"Alright Naruto, we decided on..." Gabriel's statement trailed off as she teleported into the room and saw three angels with one aiming a spear at the man.

"Gabriel-soror-Magna?" the ponytailed blonde asked as she slowly approached the angel with teary violet eyes.

"Raynare-Parva-soror?" the twelve winged angel questioned the other blonde before they embraced each other in a hug.

"Raynare?! What the heck is happening?" Kalawarner inquired as she noticed her difference in cursing.

 _"Man show up. Reināre and pals too. Man leave."_ the imprisoned man explained in a fairly broken manner. Causing the three angels to question why he wasn't easily understood by everyone else.

"Who was this man? Do you know Raynare?" Gabriel quizzed her sister, switching from her cheerful family reunion to stern leader.

"No, he just showed up behind me and made me a pure angel along with Mittelt and Kalawarner. It looked like runic magic, then we're here." the blonde explained as her comrades retracted their wings to stand beside her.

"Today just continues to get more complicated. Just wait in one of these rooms, while everything is decided upon." Gabriel kindly asked as they took up their former resident.

"Alright, Gabriel." The females agreed as the barriers erected on their doorways. Gabriel quickly teleported out of the room and back to her brothers.

 ** _"How's it feel to be home Raynare?"_**

* * *

*End*


End file.
